'Publicized Ruminations'

      "How much respect would you lose for me If I started blogging?"

      "I see why it makes sense for you, but is there something else we could call it? I have no respect for verbs that have only existed for 5 years... So I guess only a tiny bit of it would be lost."

      "Let's call it 'Publicized Ruminations' so I can keep the little respect you have for me intact."

      "That's a good one. And a successful preservation of what's left."

      So I did it.
      And I still feel sort of guilty. For a lot of reasons really, but the hardest hurdle for me to vault is the popular term for it (originally "web log", it has been abbreviated in a manner stunningly characteristic of internet pop culture). The very sound of the word conjures images similar to the kind of writing that it usually exhibits. Blog. Blah. Blah blah blah. Dull strings of inanities; long, hastily-built thought-trains hurdling into the abyss of the incomprehensible. Where 'web log' sounds punctual and precise, blog sounds erratic and mindless. Neither term has any tact and both are equally unattractive to an artist.
      The word is its own satire. To pronounce blog your mouth and throat actually begin to mimic the act of throwing up. The metaphorical bile is stopped in your esophagus by the equally gutteral consonant 'G'. The letter 'G' is a staple of germanic words; the ones Poe employed in the darkest corners of his writing. Ugly, agoraphobic, grotesque, ungainly, garish. Uggs. Ugh.
      To its credit, blog belongs to a small sect of words that adequately describe their subjects through pronunciation alone; words like whimsical and grotesque. This, however, is its single redeeming quality.
      So I'm doing my best not to call it a 'blog' to avoid associating myself with most 'bloggers'; uninspired individuals who puke-and-rally prose like college students spew their supper (luckily, we have yet to create a public space where partiers can proudly exhibit their insides).
      Then comes the struggle of what to write. The simple act of using the first person feels frighteningly familiar to the aforementioned filth. When I feel my ego's engine running out of esteem I like to hit the "Random Blog" button once or twice. But this only gets me wondering; is my target audience ignoring blogs as hard as I am?
      Possibly. I have no real idea. But this spot is a good reason to write, and a manageable exercise in completion.
      Here you will find no answers to questions commonly asked, no catchy colors nor link-laden fonts. There are no tips or tricks or pics. There are no gizmos or gadgets or .gifs.
      Enjoy,
             -F
      "Inessential insanities get one in trouble with oneself. Essential insanities get one in trouble with others. It's always preferable to be in trouble with others. In fact, it may be essential."
            (Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker)